LVYN

Saturday, November 26, 2005
Chapter123: Another dream

I dun worth anything... really... not pessimistic... i know, my retribution comes to an end... to end this i have to sacrifice another dream of mine... it truely prove tt i'm not capable... i made this mess... i tot it's becos they should be the closest, so i can show more of myself... so the closest shouldn't c the real side of u... becos u will hurt them...
Because of sacrificing my dream, i have to sacrifice my love... to her... i love her, but it doesn't matter i give up anot, there's nothing at the end... but i'm happy tt she's still with me... as a friend... she's the special one... special friend... other than tt, noone will be more special than her... n the one who is most special to her, will really love her, i hope, n i can onli hope... i can't do a thing... she decides... if this can be change, it should change much earlier than i give up... but now, i onli can hope n pray for her...
My inner self hints me... no matter it's lie or truth... i trust her... wat i can lost to her it's already lost... i still trust her... she's beyond the red line in my heart... she the onli one in this world... "gal... hope at least i am in front of ur red line..." it's the end...

9:06 PM
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Friday, November 25, 2005
Chapter122: Sure good to exercise

Haha went running with ah di just now... he told me the route, i scare... like damn far... but actually not tt far la... around 2.5 km... but scare i cannot take it... ah di 17 onli n i'm 20... although he is abit plump la, but he so young n i slack like nobody's business these few month.... haven't run for more than 6 months... scare... warm up abit then run liao...
I got abit of experience in army ma, so can teach him abit on running... cos he decide to slim down n i decide to train up... at first he still can talk to me... then slowly slowly, less then 300 m... he like can't talk much liao... then i like still talking loh... run till mid point, he like stich liao... cos after eating... haiz... i scare to pace myself slower cos got try pacing ppl in the end i not enough breath... but i scare he faint half way loh... so dark... 9 plus liao... aiya... slow down...

Ok la... slow till quite slow... then still can make it la... but he already dragging his foot... try to encourage him but like cannot leh... scare talk too much then he reply me too much then faint also... haiz... nvm... slow slow... tell him not to stop cos he stop then can't start anymore... very very surprise i really no kick leh... onli asshole abit itchy, toes abit pain, cos shoe is my bro one... then nothing else loh... calf abit straining... forget stretch tt part.... then he finally gave up... like nvm la... he one year nvr run liao.... this time is just run yi si yi si... let him walk loh... then run the same pace as he walk i like wa... no kick but toes damn pain... wish can faster finish...
Then reach 3/4 i say i run first... cos i still far from my limit... wait in front the fitness corner... then start army 2.4 gold speed liao.... wa the kick is like bloody hell de jia lat... still have to cross the road at the speed more xiong... luckily car very slow there... have to run faster than car tt part... then about reaching ending... i sprint liao... reach there do some chin-up push-up... saw zheng da doing stupid training there... hang himself on monkey bar then do sit up... but he scare to do... stupid... haha...
Then ah di reach cool down, then go drink water... damn thirsty, he worst... ok la... still can make it... talk cock till 11 plus then go home... bath... shiok ah... wa... in heaven... must run more liao... wahaha.... find ka ki... next time free come yishun run with him... slowly he will reach the standard... slim down... hehe he got motive one la... but happy for him, n happy for myself...

11:49 PM
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Chapter121: My Prayers V; REBIRTH

This is special,

First time I ever have this feeling,

It's not the first impression,

It's something growing stronger and stronger...

She had mostly pass my expectation,

She's the ideal one...

Just like an angel,

Glowing with light...

So bright when I see her in the darkness...

You are my Angel...

She made me worst then dead,

Torture me,

Unintentionally...

But I didn't mind that,

Cause this will make her happy...

Perhaps this is the best I could do for her...

Doesn't matter with me anymore,

Enough,

Slowly I know why my retribution didn't end...

Because,

I didn't realise how much I did,

How much I hurt a person...

How much changes I inflict to the environment...

And I didn't stop,

Although I thought elsewise,

But I didn't stop...

If I realise my mistakes,

It will be the end of my retribution...

End of Sorrow...

I thought I was dead,

The pain cause by her is so much,

I wish I'm dead,

But she says:

"I'll keep you in my prayers, Vyn..."

The blessing,

The prayers,

I feel them,

I'm blessed...

I...

REBIRTH

She bring me peace,

As this,

My prayers...

To someone above the clouds...

"Please, bring her happiness,

nature...

The true love that she wants,

The real love...

Please...

Please!!!"

This is the first time,

I prayed so hard...

If one day you fell off from the cliff of heavens,

I will be there waiting for you...

Sincerely,

I will be here...

And I know,

You will do the same thing for me...

Vyn

8:14 PM
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Thursday, November 24, 2005
Chapter120: Retribution

Maybe it's really retribution... i hurt her realli hard i think... i'm guilty... her future was almost gone in my hands... it's my fault... it's my greatest sin... can sin be forgiven? unless tt person forgive... if not, it will nvr be forgiven... she forgive me? she say yes... but did i forgive myself? no point crying over spilt milk... i do my best to clean up... but she say no need... wat can i still do? did i forgive myself?
I tried not to hurt anyone again... tried... but it's impossible... although i keep it to the slightest... being a better guy... n i face all the pain in relationships... i'm tired of being a good guy... but i still can't forgive myself... say anything... say anything u like... i just wan it my way... it maybe stupid... but this is the way Alvin Ho was born... i just take this as a retribution...
Already near to 4 years... n i'm facing pain over n over again... didn't i put in enough effort? maybe... or, the sin i had done is too thick to be remand... i dunno... i still follow my way n not step back the way i was 4 years ago... if tt's so, i will pay my retribution my whole life...

10:19 PM
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Chapter119: Vomit using asshole

Recently had gastric pain for a few days... then after tt i felt tt i got alot of guess inside... shit n fart all day... haiz... so sad... cannot take it liao... still go school... then weather changed so funny nowadays... she going to fall sick... better take care... if realli sick go c doctor ba... health more important... haiz... hope my stomach can get better... shit untill ass hole bleed liao... haiz... ya tt's it...

7:59 PM
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Chapter118: Care

I'm caring for u, not onli him... we all care for u... but u too have some problems... y dun u just be humble n learn? u r still young, u r still growing... it's not wrong for u to have problems... wat i wan is tt u 2 be together n smile... if u think all this really offend u, n i have no right to say anything like tt to u, tell me first ok? i will nvr disturb u anymore, if u really hate me, i can disappear from u guys... but tell me, if not i dunno... i know u have some problems, read ur blog... tt's realli not my problem... n i dun think u will like me to give u any more advice... find ur guy... take care n good luck...

8:35 PM
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Chapter117: For you...

Dear gal... i think most probably u already put in everything for him... i have nothing to say... i'm no one but just ur normal friend... i hope i can even step in more... i wan to know more about u... abit by abit... u know, i'm making myself everyday, cos i know... if i'm sad u won't be happy... same to u... if u r sad i won't be happy... wish tt if u have anythings u have in mind just tell me... i really hope i can hear more... i'm always there for u... u know? no matters wat future becomes i dun mind anymore... just hope tt i'm here to cheer u up n share ur problems... i think a friend should do this isn't it? n of cos... if u free can msg me on the phone or call me... :> n remember to take care k? really really miss u... now sushi tei had close... dunno where i can find u again... wanna c u, wanna talk to u... I will be happy for u...

8:22 PM
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Chapter116: Past

U know, growing up till so old... everybody got their past... maybe can be normal, sad, pathetic, or ridiculous... but it's the past...wat's realli matter is now n future... y ppl keep looking at their past? be safe? dun be silly... dun be selfish... change is a consistency...

8:07 PM
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Chapter115: Nice Movie!!!

Wa!!! so nice... Advent Children really worth buying leh... so nice... but they fight very fast like ninja... but the main character's sword damn big still can fight so fast... haha show onli ma... but worth buying the original dvd... for final fantasy fan collection... hoho but singapore still haven't lauch yet... wait loh... hoho so shiok...

9:12 PM
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Chapter114: Pastry presentation...

Today i going to do my pastry presentation... group with yu cheng... a not bad guy but i think he some time abit bo chap one... but i think he at least give me face to do with me loh.... then he prpare the recipe then we wait for the day to come.... then this morning i wake up myself.... found something not right.... then msg ah di... whether we need to buy the ingredients ourselves anot... stunt... need... i dun think yu cheng know loh... all the infor i get for him one... if ask me wat i do for this project i shall say i take note of all info... cos he always nvr come... wth... then go call him... he indeed dunno... then he say he buy himself... 2 more hour later start liao... now then buy... wa... die liao... then he pass me the recipe i abit comfort liao... recipe is like tt...

4 eggs

8 oz butter

8 oz sugar

8 oz self-rising flour

juice of 2 lemons

3 tablespoons icing sugar

Tt's it... wat the... seems quite simple... is this a cake or wat... wa... dunno la... later die then say... dun dare to think liao... haiz... hope can at least pass...

last week got poc practical... we did a pretty nice job...i know the weak point of all member then i make use of it put it on our work... got low marks go high marks one... 3 cos ma... but the high marks one should be able to safe the low marks one.... so to make the average an above average result... for a group like this... actually i expect higher... but dun be greedy la... haha... i like this group is becos although behind each other ppl r not happy with each other... n also go cocksters in the group... i'm one of it... hehe but... they have to act close as a group... n they indeed put in effort to act... cos their base r still naive boys n gals... haha... so for our final marking, cleanliness we got 5 marks full marks... u c? we rush back start clearing up everything liao... i'm not the leader but i tok the most... but they listen leh... hehe maybe i oldest la... k have to leave liao... go northpoint there c got open anot... then eat then go school liao... dun waste time...

11:59 AM
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Chapter113: Advent Children

Feel like changing a blogskin... then find here find there for a few weeks can't find the right one... then yesterday lesson cancelled, then very the free so go west mall walk walk.... saw comics connection, go in c got wat comic new anot...
Then right in front of the entrance saw this tv... showing a very nice computer graphic show... wa... like real one sia... but at first sight i know wat show liao... cos i play b4 this game... final fantasy VII... becos the this game is very nice... game play, story, all very nice... but the graphic is very limited tt time... then came out FF 8,9,10,11,12... all graphic much better then 7... so ppl think is a waste...i think tt's y they come out with this... Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

FF ever came out a movie call Final Fantasy movie: Spirit Within. This show ok... tt time graphic is top 10 one loh... c already all stunt... then the ending song also came from my favourite band L`Arc~en~Ciel; Spirit Deep Inside... i hear the voice i know who sing liao... haha my idol ma... then tt time is 2000 or 2001... after a few years came out final fantasy second movie loh... but i c a few parts of it... very very nice... the way they fight a bit like not human la, but still touch to ground one... no one know how to fly... onli know how to jump... onli monsters some can fly cos got wings ma... but anyway this is final fantasy... how they talk how they move all like real like tt... then also got abit comedy... haha very perfect... for me this show is very near to my perfection already... hope next time they can come out one tt i can't imagine one...
Then i go back yishun find... search the whole northpoint... i know i no money buy, but at least know wat's the price... then search liao dun have... cannot be... i think they didn't officially lauch in singapore... comics connection tt one i think is pirated one... then i go yishun one secret place to find... they say have but sold out.... tml then come... how much? 10 dollar... hehe can buy... so cheap... then i say i will come back one... haha last time always buy from there one... so tt mean later i going to find liao...c have anot... hehe... then came back look at my blog... haiz... then go search got advent children anot.... but all not nice.... hehe onli one... i think this one best... nice feeling... u c the graphic not bad hor? hoho... spend a few hour to edit... here comes my new blog...

11:20 AM
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Sunday, November 20, 2005
Chapter112: Inter-continental

Recently i went to inter-continental work... haiz... very xiong loh... worst then ritz carlton n swissotel loh... pay so low... then the ppl working there also very the guai lan... feel like going back to army... but nvm... i also quite guai lan, so they all also nvr bulli me much... but also got a few good guys la... barathi, malathi, kannan, shaiful, philips and plus a few more new birdie...

Haha found this new friend Barathi... 18 years old... so beautiful loh... first time c such attractive indian gal... better than her sis malathi... :p haha very gum with her leh... her sister abit fierce la... haha... then her brother also work there as a manager... kannan... very talkative guy... hokkien talk like water... all of them like tt... wondering whether they mix blood anot... haha...

Haha cock up alot of things down there la... fuck it... just try my best loh.... for money ma... bo bian...

Haiz... think alot recently... but just can't write here... after she scolded me... forget it... just put it in my heart... time to rest bloggy... haiz... i had fallen even deeper now...

10:17 PM
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Chapter111: Out in the midnight...

Think it's the last saturday... went yck find jeremy after work at 0100... then dunno y decided to walk to khatib... then take train again back to yck then take train back to khatib again.... dunno wat the fuck i donig sia nvm... it's fun...

the cat at the coffee shop...

wat's tt? haha the cat is licking jer...

looks like a dead cat...

beautiful sunset again...

8:35 PM
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Monday, November 14, 2005
Chapter110: Am I wrong?

Am I wrong to be hurt

Am I wrong to feel pain

Am I wrong to be in the rain

Am I wrong to wish the night won't end

Am I wrong to cry

But I know, it's not wrong to sing The Last Song

Cause forever fades...

By: X JAPAN

7:43 PM
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Chapter109: I have to do so...

Been thinking over these matter recently... going through my mind over n over again... All my projects... POC, Pastry n baking... MPP... n my exams... it's so near n so fast... i know this, i have no self disipline... i have but definately not enough... can't even make myself wake up... as a chef, this is very important... but i dun have enough... i have to change...
Thinking about her... she changed... the way she talk to me... different from the time i just know her... dunno y... i can predict wat's happening... but i dun dare... dun dare to confirm... cos it hurts me more... i realli love this feeling... although it's just conversations... but i hope this will stay or even improve... i can't expect much from myself, i dun dare to expect much from her also...
15 dp accumilated... have to stop the nonsence... totalli... if i can't even change this, i can't move on... either i quit school n go out learn from others, or i change this n put in all effort... to save all my effort b4, i have to choose the second one... with all the trouble in school i can't have more energy to do anything for u... u know? dun think i should do much... cos u choose it ur own... dice not in my hand... no matter wat happen... trust... someone is alike with u... in ur heart... the good n evil... this person had this same with u... find him, he will be there no matter being a friend or wat... cos he treasure this things, this fate...

7:29 PM
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
Chapter108: How u feel?

Just read through alot of blog... found tt everybody got their problem... know this thousand of years ago... tt's y there's blog, n tt's y we r call human... some of the cases just can't be help, like wat i say... some can be solve, but often problem ended up unsolved... cos human knows to give up, cos there's a limit to a person... whether u know ur limits...
But another way round... everybody got their own use... look at the bangla over there... i'm worst then him in some sense... last time i'm much worst... it's just tt the family he's born in... he can't do a shit... but he also can do something but he's not smart n preservance enough... tt's an example...
He too got his problem, but how big is tt problem? everyone else have... actually tt's the interesting part... thing is how u gonna solve it? She had her problem... huh? she la... tt one la... aiya... ***** loh... she had her trouble... she didn't show... can feel tt she's irritating... cos she got her problem... shouldn't be angry with her... she's onli 17... she's finding her way for her future... i can't do anything... she help herself...
Tt gal also... ***** la... she got some problem but she cannot tell me... too bad i promise not to ask... but she seems to find me irritating... haha... i dunno y i like her character... too bad... just let it be... think it back should change my character... stop irritating her... hope her happi... think she will be...
******, a super hot tempered gal... told her all the advice i could squeeze out of my mind... but not a little turn better for the relationship with her bf... told her... her temper maybe her greatest weak point... hope noone will harm her using tt... even if happens... i can do nothing... i had said wat i can said... not my job to change her n entertain her... wat she wants is not me... is him... let's stop the stupid story of the 3 man group ok?
Lastly is *******... u know the distance between u.s.a n singapore? tt's the distance between me n her... but i try so hard to pull the distance... n? i have to lan lan suck thumb n c her with tt fucker... issit too harsh to say so... u think i care? ******* if u hates me? just let it be.... better still... i had enough... all of this...
** ****... nearly forget about him... he's such a stupid guy... just doing stupid things everytime... but wat he realli wants? just tt all the ppl around him to be happi... hope he could do something... then y he wanted to study culinary skills? but too bad... he's not talented... n pretty useless... wish him luck...
Fuck up.... realli... hopeless... enough... i dun bother... enough... y should i bother how u feel? do u bother how i feel? no need to say anything... love urself more... nights....

11:35 PM
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Chapter107: There's nothing i can do...

Some elderly told me before"know ur limit n know when to stop..." as i grow up i understand... understand n performing is 2 different case... Sometimes is i know but just can't control... sometimes is dun wan to control... 1st example... like today at mrt... i damn bad mood liao then the mr alvin tan still come here disturb me... beat me... can feel a bit pain liao... warning alot of times liao, still dunno how to stop... cb... chase him loh... floor slippery... dun dare to run too fast... then is like fucking du lan liao, dunno y stop also... just sit down, maybe is sub concious mind stop myself... then he come over say sorry i just fuck him... if tt time i chasing him he caught by me, i sure whack his face... can't control...
2nd example... knowing someone doing wrong things, someone i loves... tok to her alot of times... quarrel, done alot... but nothing help... keep on thinking the way out... i should stop i know... but... i dun wan... finally i stopped... cos i c the morale behind her story... onli one phrase can describe... "lan lan suck thumb"
Did i stop at the right time? too late dun say la... if too late i also cannot reverse... but am i too early? ask myself... i dunno... analyse the whole problem... think i should stop long time ago... but i didn't... ppl tell me stop liao... n also told me the same reason i analyse... "There nothing i can do..." ya it's true... alot of things i just can't do anything... i lan lan have to give up... but for her, i pretty confirm i should give up liao... but for another her? i realli tried my best? actually to the end, important is wat's the consiquence... would i lose a friend? would i lose anything... give n take not so important i think... ah... watever...
So i decided to stop... so stop loh.... dun think so much liao... cos there's nothing i can do...

8:09 PM
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Chapter106: Pastry; class intro

Hoho dunno this is wat day... got pastry... monday i think... took some pic of my class...

Mr. George Chow... Want to rob the pastry IS ah?

Da jie!!! Onli gal willing to take photo with me... hehe not wan to collect ur album la... just to keep u guys in mind...

Mr. Justin Chua... My pastry teacher... very kind... n generous... haha lucky to have him...

Dunno y take this pic... miss cue take one... very artistic... haha

Mr. Jason Boo... Very good at cooking... handsome some more... wat is tt face of mine?

Mr. Lawrence.... dunno wat his surname... mr invisible man... haha he damn quiet one loh... but nowadays more n more like me liao... tok cock very good, haha tok more la... today change of IS time u also dunno... all forget u liao...

Mr Johnson Goh... a.k.a D.O.M(Dirty Old Man) a.k.a Lao Di Ko...

This is my dish for italian cuisine tt day... sucks... haiz...

Went prata session with them... took while going back home... "Verna & Pear"

Took one day while working... the actual one more nice... dunno y take untill like tt... haha so lousy...

7:29 PM
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Monday, November 07, 2005
Chapter105: On the track...

Today go school... full shift... early 6 o'clock wake up... forget wat's my promise yesterday... still lazing around... promise myself nvr ever late again... but here i goes again... haiz... but nvm... i still got abit time... eat some cookies found on the corner of the kitchen floor... hack care... hungry... at least eat something... then drink a packet of cold green tea... go school loh...
Reach outram park hungry liao... too bad... wait loh... reach bukit batok... 0750... oh... gonna late... lucky i onli have to change a shirt... before reach gate saw lokeman... going makan... huh? tot lesson going to start liao? dunno la... maybe he tell teacher he going to faint... but y wearing home clothes sia? dun care... faster go inside... change n go pastry room... no lights... eh? call ah di... he at kathib still... wtf.... he say lesson start 9, not 8... fuck... haiz... time table right 8 leh... dun care... go eat... tok cock with lokeman... then start... dunno do wat custard thingy la... the sugar like those in show ppl use to wack ppl's head tt kind of beer bottle material... sweet untill bitter... than go demo... my practical test kanna chicken tigh boneless... think should be easy la... dunno tt gal wan to do like how... she like taking her time leh... nvm one la... untill the end i got my solution... let her try out...
Friday is important... have to past up our recipe... tt gal still like very relax leh... nvm... do back up can liao... have to check for my jamaican restaurant menu setting... roughly got idea liao... but need something like powerpoint to do... bo bian... have to go home... have to study menu planning test oso... confirm tt one is thursday study one... u think i got extra time to handle tt meh? today monday... gone liao... tml have a good rest then afternoon go work... swissotel... wednesday lesson end early... going to shangri-la with tan brothers n ah di... thursday is critical part... hope by tt time tt gal done wat she wan liao... by tt time should fly back yishun to do the 3 things... hope tt gal can help me da at least the recipe thing... or wednesday have to go back yishun with my barang barang then go to school straight from there... haiz... know my stress? haven't finish, next thursday got practical test... hope i can clear my mind by then... something still clinging my nerve... fuck... i have to go on... next next tuesday pastry presentation... these 2 weeks this 2 thing should be the important thing.... stress? haven't finish... after this 2 weeks, all the exam no matter practical or theory all lub together... dun think onli i stress, all of my friends... those cannot take it one drop school, or go find help from others... but everyone also stress wat... so u need help? fuck off... but i won't like tt... cos a survivor from this test will be another challenge for me... another stair for me to climb... if i cannot climb? hope i can fall to death... n i hope death is wat a waiting... cb... i like this life man... keke interesting...
In order to support myself concentration, i have to exercise liao... also a way of de-stress... better than every day masturbate right? haha good good... everything's on track... this stress is stronger than last few months... but i feel more shiok... maybe i take this to forget all my pain... no... to cure all my pain in relationship... all settle, family still got abit la... but no need care so much first... tt one still nothing... sad part had already gone... but the pain i still remember my heart... cos i said, "I will remember the pain u gave me, forever..."

8:48 PM
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Sunday, November 06, 2005
Chapter104: Sunday...

Go Shangri-la interview... found tt sunday bo interview one... cos hr nvr open... nvm loh... either thursday or friday go again... damn u-lu... come back home c my favourite movie... Moon Child... found their acting skill so lousy... but the story very nice... haiz... going back liao... sad... i miss her alot... today still go there find her... always do stupid things to not feel the pain... haiz... face it ba.... always tell esther n jeremy some stupid things... now they all like du lan liao... better be so... if not later sure call me drink coffee untill dunno wat time... better go back n think it through... haiz... maybe it's good to let me just miss her like tt n nvr get her... cos like tt i will concentrate on my work more... haiz... Today her birthday... sure play with her bf till very late.... faster go sleep la... u aging le... haiz... Happy Birthday.............^_^

7:06 PM
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Chapter103: Hari raya

Sleep till 7 then wake up... then go home n do somethings then go meet jeremy n ting... aka esther... then tok cock then go home... very sian... seriously... i nvr feel so lost man... haiz... have to think a way out liao... all the problem squeeze together...
Next day friday went to school... snip shot my friends... let me intro...

My da jie da... oldest student in my class... but she very very kind n caring...

Verna Wanarni... indonesia student... our class baby... very cute also...
After tt got counselling session by leong... cos dp too high.... then he intro me go Shangri-la interview for kitchen job... after tt go swissotel work... saturday also... haiz... long time no work... friday night work one night then saturday nvr go school... can't wake up... just kanna counselling then now like tt.... promise won't happen liao... took some nice pic from 69th floor in swissotel...

Night view of central singapore...

Ritz Carlton n some other hotels... Haiz...

Horizon...

Suntec...

Actually can c my farrer park house from here leh... guess which one my block?

Sunset reflection...

Lion city...

It's nice seeing things from above... but will get giddy... it's also nice seeing thing from below... human just dun understand...

6:41 PM
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Chapter102: Wednesday...

Wednesday still have to go school... better go la... dp very high liao... no money c doctor.... yesterday spend 65 bucks liao... haiz... morning got asia cooking in demo kitchen... leong cock up something... so bo bian... we have to go demo one by one go fry the rice... but good la... got lunch eat... took some funny photo of my classmates...

yu xiu... so scare to fry the rice sia... haha damn cute if u c her fry rice...

Rou bing... a very power gal... haha very attractive though... haha finally took her photo... dun angry orh...

Then afternoon at western IS cook fusion seafood n fish... anyhow do la... run out of ideas liao... haiz...

So ugly... haiz...

Then after school esther call me go out eat... cos she dun wan me rot at home.... then she say she give... ok la... being a gigglo isn't tt bad at all... just how u dun care ppl look at u... went to some where near balestier eat... she intro me 2 of her friend.... eileen n dao ren...

My hp slow sia... ppl go out of post liao then take...

Another miss shot...

Then later they pyshco me go zouk... haiz tt is a lousy place... somemore so cramp... although i eat alot of toufu but kanna squeeze dunno how many times... haiz... sad... inside zouk i c this....

Look like wat? like ghost sia... haha is esther la... so horrible...

Haiz... in the end sleep at eileen house cos i totalli can't take it liao... so tired... 3 ppl sleep one bed... then go home tt time i also blur blur... just feel tt i like gigglo... haiz...

6:16 PM
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Chapter101: Deepavali

Yeah no school tt day... but no money oso... got onli 100 bucks with me... so better stay at home... lazy to move... dun wan to wash clothes... haiz... so lazy... my bro yesterday went australia for exercise wallaby... so his hp lend me... but next time oso will be mine one la... 3230... take alot of pic... took my grandma photo...

cute ma?

Then bo liao go n msg aries... ask her wanna go out eat anot... feel like seeing ade... some more she's working... go far east c her...then bo liao msg esther oso... tot she should be outside with jeremy... she say she rotting at orchard... so ask her wat's wrong loh... but she dun feel like replying... c she so moody so i cancel go out with aries then fly to orchard c esther loh... sit down there she just keep quite... make a sushi built with wasabi on top... haiz... to make her cheer up i even eat the whole thing... very de nan chi... will die one loh... wa lau... but still ok la... try to cheer her up... then bring her go around walk walk...
Try my best liao... she seems to be happier... but once she c jeremy msg she even more sad... haiz... jeremy ah jeremy ah... haiz... i really dunno wat to do... so go drink some alcohol loh... at far east 7-11... she's just so sad...

face red liao...

Then go bishan sit at coffee shop n tok cock with her.... she make me damn sad also... haiz... wat's this man.... sometimes felt tt all my effort just go down the drain... this gal not my gf y i put in so much effort? she's my buddy's gf loh... issit my buddy's fault? from tt angle i think so... y u like tt? she's a nice gal loh... haiz... nice... but not my type la... i think...

5:58 PM
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Chapter100: No. 100 entry

Hoho... this is the number 100 entry... yeah... thanx bloggy... help me store so many stupid things of mine... haha hope there will be 200 or 300 entry... take care my friend... huggiez...

5:56 PM
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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Chapter99: I feel it

Been settling my problems one by one... can settle one all settle liao... left a few... these few seems like all connected... one not settle, will go back to square one for others... i'm finding the main factors... i feel it... relationship is the trap...
This special feeling i feel for her is not so normal... having me to make a promise to make her happi... it hurts when the trust is not there... seriously... been to the spit route tt night, realli dunno wat to do... i guess it's his trap... bro, y u like tt? making me doing all this sai gang... worst then wat i get in ktsc... so i open my mind... if this's wat u wan... maybe i'm too sensative... but this feeling will nvr fade, n this principal is the one i will always follow, is i lan lan have to follow... if not... either i'm just end up in woodbridge or changi... i have to hold on... this is my nature... so as long this continues, relationship problems won't grow anymore...
This feeling... it's danger... someone, i guess more than one... is aiming at me... just like the feeling when u r have mission in forest, someone aiming at u... twice... the problem just hit me... ccb... i'm angry... y tt fucker have to do this kind of uneducated move... second, even he wan to harm me, also i have to be stupid enough to kanna shot right? it's my mistake, i will take any responsibility... but careful... u nvr know wat hits u when u fire the next round aiming on my head.... prevent is better than cure, i dun wan to c bad things happen so i give this warning... if u nvr c this, good luck...i feel it... ur pathetic evilness is routing ur brain...

4:47 PM
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