Friday, September 29, 2006
Chapter174: MIAOW

Actually wanted to post the blog yesterday...think think...erm...finally got the idea,make a nice coffee and sit down realli to type...suddenly a shadow fly then my coffee fly to my laptop n books...i know is her...miaow...my cat...y?i didn't disturb her,i feed her,n i treat her not bad nowadays wat...she bite my things i also nvr realli beat her...sometimes still bring her for supper...wtf...b4 my cup fall to the ground i grab her n slam her on the wall...ouch,i know...tt's my natural reaction,n just when she touch the ground she hide under my bed...i close the windows,push rukya out of the room,lock the door...i shout n chase after her...grab her neck n slammed her on the wall...she scratch me real hard...i didn't feel anything...at tt time i was realli mad...i dun really wan to control myself...after so much work,i'm stress enough...i know she's just a cat...but the violent me came without warning...wtf....i didn't disturb her wat...i throw her into the toilet...i really stunned for awhile...spray her water...wash up for her...n i know this is the last time...next times comes,most probably i'm going to bury her like tif...haiz...my hand bleed alot...but...i feel the heart pain...y didn't i control myself?y she did this to me?haiz...will the relation end?think alot...
Dear came back...she was stunned about my hand...total 18 scratch...cats onli got 18 nails...haiz...i decided to let her go...she already in puberty age...i can't just find another male cat her n then let them have a family wat...i dun have the money to let dun have to reproduce...onli have to let her go ba...haiz...dear's sad...i'm sad too...but haiz...for her sake la...i'm crazy...she shouldn't follow me...

11:26 PM
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Monday, September 25, 2006
Chapter173: Work Experience Attachment

Hehe finalli exam over...had a farewell party last sat...n of cos our WE briefing...everyone had a logbook... like life so important... lost tt means lost my diploma...haha everyone is gonna start on 2nd of october...but i start later 11 am...haha extra again...nvm la...no break no break loh...i gonna finish early ma...doesn't realli matter la...haiz...life sux...
Played basket ball after tt,super tiring...played with alan,the china guy from school banquet,very fast...first round get 11-3 i win,2nd round 11-4 i lose...haha then still think of having the 3rd match then got a malaysian,27, and a australian,29, wanna play with us...then ok loh...i team with alan...the australian damn tall,the malaysian damn fast...haha score is 7-2 we lose...somemore the 2 point is i shoot 3 point then can get one...very difficult to go into the red box...they got very good team work then i n alan first time play together...after tt got 5 guys wanna play with us...5 on 5 full court...my team got me,aus guy,malaysia guy,zhe n a small kid...the small kid is b4 i play with alan we play for fun then know de...alan leg cramp so nvr play...our opponent very the sucks,abit onli foul,then we foul they say nvr foul...i say play for awhile cos my leg pain then got one guy say i can stand there dun move de...bloody hell,damn fucked up...then half way 1 of their member fall n twist the knee,then their captain,the guy tt scold me just now,call him to move away they dun need him...wtf!!!realli damn rubbish loh...seriously la,our group like onli 4 ppl,the small kid realli not good enough,lucky got the tall guy,when he lay up,the hand is just beside the rim onli,the malaysia guy very stable n good,then i n zhe is very good at speed,my leg got alot of blister already still sprint faster then them...then half way alan change with zhe,i wanna change but alan take zhe place...haiz...wanna cry already,blister burst already...muscle cramping already...so?keep on playing loh...seriously i deprove alot liao...now 3 point the most 10 got 3 in onli...haiz...in the end lose,21-19...fuck la...just a game...n give them face play onli...but their attitude hor...forget it la...
After tt bring rukya to my house then now still at my house...haiz...dog n cat in the same room...they can't fight la...i here who fight who die...haha...but eve n her mum quarreling about the dog leh...how ah?how am i going to keep this dog with me?without breaking the impression is one thing,issit possible anot?or should i even keep her...dunno leh.

12:52 AM
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Monday, September 18, 2006
Chapter172: Final Examinations

Later,i'm going to have exams...my last exam period in shatec...today is beverage knowledge...the ta ma de got alot of things to remember...all the funny name...french,italian... haiz...dunno wat the hell i reading...stay untill so late to study...time to take a rest...tired...later sure alot of morning call de...guys...c this dun mind call me at around 8.30 hor...thanx...jia you n good luck to u all guys...

6:40 AM
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Sunday, September 17, 2006
Chapter171: Sentosa

Haha my gal call me go sentosa yesterday...she told me tt on friday...is like,y loh...she say her friends call her go there...haiz...her guy friend again...dunno y la..once talk about her guy friends i dun feel good...among her guy friend onli got a few tt will click with me one...so i say dun wanna go...then i felt tt it''s not very good to reject everytime she call me go out to new places...so i ask her lor,go there do wat...then she say go there picnic,then swim abit loh....erm...then i say, if like tt then nvm la...go relax abit...cos monday my last exam starts...i think i will just hide one corner n build my sand castle...haha...
Next day, found tt onli 2 of us actually...but she insist of going...then go loh...wait quite long on bus n buying ticket...finally got there...drop my bag n went to swim with her...had a good time actually...she's very happy...haha,did alot of things there but erm...dunno how to say la...just swim n enjoy the wind...she buried me also haha...wish tt we could have more time together when i'm having my attachment...haiz...

6:34 PM
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Thursday, September 14, 2006
Chapter170: Impossible into Possible

Had seen doctor yesterday...y?just got back to school then wanna take mc...becos when i just get back to school, all the shit work for me to clear...my kitchen organisation and intro to f&b project... a fucking big project... the biggest in my whole entire theory lesson... the objective is to start a restaurant...erm sounds easy but it's god damn difficult...imagine,u r going to open a restaurant... all the things u have to get urself...floor plan for restaurant, kitchen, bar setting... menu,food cos control, recipes... equipment for kitchen, restaurant, bar and even toilet... licenses...erm... hidden things example, how many powerpoint u need in the restaurant, or maybe the payroll for ur staffs and how many u staffs u actualli need or u idealli wan...ah, the hidden things is cpf...wa...if u realli wanna go into details can write a few hundred pages...haha we already got 120 pages excluding licsence tt stands around 40 pages...
Seriously u wan a few 18-19 year old kids to plan to detail,especially singapore kids,it's almost impossible la...but can la...if 5 got team work and heart sure can one...plus me somemore...wahaha...i tot is like tt,but the more i do the more i think it's difficult...then kanna suspended,then i dun care about the project liao...came back last friday,my group present like fuck then re-do some part of the project...all start to back stab each other...totalli no team work...haiz...i nvr realli look into it and now i ma chiam one man show...i c the finishing product of my group...like shit...realli cannot make it...re do the project, spend 2 sleepless nights...try to go as detail as possible... then i c the impossible part of the project...is to 3d-lise the whole restaurant and c all the possible hidden cost..i can c...but maybe not perfect at my stage of experience and thinking,but i'm sure my group member can't think one la...the important part is how to let everyone in the class understand?if i can make a animation out of it then easy...but i dunno how...ah...i try my best...can be better,but i got no time n energy anymore...
Aiya just present la...some floor plan is my gal do for me de...instead we quarrel...her thinking n my thinking differs...as a student for fnb she got some ideas i dun have de...but the project is mine...i do no good tt means i not good enough...she's not fromm my group...nvm...she also nvr sleep...make her tired also...she say she dun wanna leave me alone n c me tired...but do u think i wanna c her tired where everything got nothing to do with her?when she tired she forget this forget tt...brain become very stupid in some sence...which will make me angry leh....but it's all for me...dunno whether to angry anot...haiz... life is tough...sad...wat can i do?
Then recently calculate my result...all my test and assignment for some subject is 0...one of them is communication skills...calculate, if i wanna pass tt subject i have to get 48 out of 50 for my exam...crazy...near to impossible also...but how?i have to do it la...in order to prove impossible into possible...

12:45 AM
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Thursday, September 07, 2006
Chapter169: BAGE-MON-DA!!!

Haha...i still dun wanna sleep...u believe i'm sick?muahaha...now no sence of smell at all...got alot of flam...haiz...so sad...but dunno y not realli tt tired...haha just found the best place to connect my wireless connection...my window!!haha have to clear my table n move some furniture in my bedroom...connect dunno how long liao still haven't break...so happy...hehe...but just scare i not at home my cat go play with my mouse...keke...
Go around friendster and clear my bookmark list...c who i wanna add n who can delete...then c alot of my long time no c friend...last time nvr add one...then c alot of chio bus last time i bo liao go put as bookmark...then force myself too c all...erm...found tt gals tt have a ugly bf,which i last time very jealous one,now all become........BAGE-MON-DA!!!!(monster in jap) wa say, realli loh...dunno y...like kanna car buang like tt...haiz...not so horrible la...haha...but realli loh...erm,is my taste changed or they realli become ugly...scare...wait my gal follow me for long liao also become like tt...also got alot...become ugly leh...no bf also...dunno wat happened...
Haha...actually looks will change one day de...just onli dunno when onli...old liao also be ugly...but inside the heart leh?dear, hope ur heart can remain...the part my instinct loves....haiz...go eat chai tou kway liao...da da...

8:22 AM
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Chapter168: ME

Ha,dunno wat the hell i'm doing in the middle of the night this time writing blog...long time no update my bloggy sure angry liao...ha i'm sick somemore...
Read my past blogs...find it funny...haha lousy english dun say,wat i wrote...crazy...found myself weak n fuck up...once i wrote about him...actually he's still around but actually is not 'him'...it's
'them'...haha it's crazy la...there someone call 'alvin', another call 'nivla'.another seldom come, i call him,erm...'L' ba...he's the limit of me,'vyn'.funny hor?a person can become so many person...it's not imagination,it's also not very real la...it's me tt changes through desire,conscious,anger and justice...haha basically anger is when i'm too fucking tired then i will lost control...c how tired i am la...last time abit tired onli he comes out...now...i think can control le ba...then desire always around...hehe this one very dirty...all the selfish perverted and wicked tot's come from him...then someone tt counter him is justice.very kind,care for others,humble,cry baby, all from him...i'm conscious...
I dunno la,i think all humans have this kind of personality in them,but either they nvr bring them out or controlled them...or dun even notice them...i choose to c them...control them...let them wild at times and use them sometimes...my sis is those tt dun bothered to c them,but i'm so curious,n last time i was controlled by them...now better off...dun worry...haha i'm ok...

6:01 AM
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Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Chapter167: Connections

Life is full of connections man...all this connections confirm brings u sadness and happiness...just dun look into detail of how much sadness n happiness it brings,if u do, normally u will find tt it will bring u sdaness more or even onli sadness...just like do u remember ow many times u smile a day and how many times u cry a day...of cos crying will make u easily remembered becos all of us take happiness for granted,of cos there r exceptions...so dun care whether it's happy or sad,just make the full use of ur connections just how u make full use of ur life...
Connections r things tt sometimes u need them to solve ur 'boring' problems...sometimes it's a bigger use...how big u can use them depend on how much u can give in...but doesn't mean u put in 10 kg of time n energy in it u will get back 10 kg of usefull things...sometime even u get back 0...nothing...of cos the use of killing boredom seems to always be there...i got a problem,i last time,not long ago,i tot i put in so much effort in building my connections then i should get help when emergency comes but i'm extremely wrong,dun ever demand anything in return...unexpectedly u will even lost the connection or weaken...cos humans r selfish,dun blame them...so this lesson teaches me,if u feel like building up tt relation tt u have to put in alot of commitment and emotion,think carefully b4 u put in,think, if u r in emergency,will tt person help u?not to say so,even if tt person willing to think of a way to stop me from falling it's good enough already,i will put in my commitment...seriously,after tt lesson i put it this way,i won't need anybody's help even if i put in all my commitment n emotion in to care for tt person...i dun need UR HELP,just dun step my hand when i'm hanging on the cliff can liao...i dun need ur hand to pull me up,u can go off...if i'm so useless to fall then i shall fall...
Haha with this thinking,if anyone helps me i will be very grateful ba...like tt i will even be happier...haiz...even for her...i give in so much time,realli alot,u think la,did i ever put in so much time n effort for anyother person anot?possible anot?becos of u, i lost alot,last time indeed i plan to get back something from u and ur family,but now...just dun throw rock down the well which i'm trying hard to climb up...haha although u r...but i dun mind...even u seal the well i will find a way out...becos, i love u...100% true from my instinct...

4:07 AM
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Monday, September 04, 2006
Chapter166: Analysing situation

Had a bad time nowadays...a month ago...i was suspended from school due to bad attendence,and now pending for appeal...basically i'm expell...from the day i receive the letter, all my test will be void,dunno whether my projects will be void anot...haiz...if all r void and by the time i go back it should be time for exams...if all r void then i have to really do well in my exam to push up my marks...if not dunno how...whether i can go back also a mystery...my gal says sure go back one...just like she last time like tt... but wat if i dun?haha it should be better in someways...although i wasted so much time n money...but...it maybe better if i start work immediately...it may be a disgrace...i dun give a damn la...just for the sake of all this time n hardwork i put in i should continue my studies...in the end the choice is not up to me now...i should realise earlier on but wat's the use of saying anything now?too late...i can try my best to show my enthusiasm but tt's all...of cos i will study hard just in case i have to go back, and becos i need the knowledge even if i dun go back to school...this is my career,and i won't change just becos i'm out of the bloody SHATEC...
Now i know the feeling of my gal being kick out of school last time... dun feel like going back,wat's the point?i dun really need the diploma,i can just fight my way out next time...it's ok...but tt all feelings...in fact i may need the bloody diploma next time...it's the base,if i fall i got tt stupid paper to save my ass n won't fall lower than those who dun have the stupid toilet paper...tt's the fact,somemore i left less than half of the whole cos wouldn't it be stupid to drop out just like tt?plus concider the pain my family feels... they will be disappointed,n feels hurt...i can say i will pay them back the money,but can i pay them back the lost of time?shit... i have to go back...after so much analysing,result is i do my best to show concern about whether i can go back,and once i go back i have to put in real effort to stay on...other than tt i can't do a shit...so,vyn, cool ya...dun worry guys...

3:45 AM
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Friday, September 01, 2006
Chapter165: Happy 21st Birthday...

Ya...my birthday....21st birthday... receive alot of present n demanded alot of present...Got some donations from friends to be birthday present...cos urgently no money and dun wanna borrow anymore money...francis:$21, apple:$50, hui xiang:$30. actually still got alot more to take but they promise but nvr give... haha nvm la...they dun owe me,just donation,i really can't beg them for money...although it's tough,but it's over...failed my ippt by failing the 2.4 run... sian...nvm,go rt lor...haiz...tt's the present from god ba...thanx brother...then my father give me this laptop...my mum give me $800 to return back to her...(?!?!)my sis n bro in law give me a funny pants...n also treat me to k box...haha very fun...haiz...n nvr forget, my gal giving me the necklace i have now... i love it... haha love u gal...haiz...dunno wat i'm doing man...i will take care de...ja...

11:55 AM
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