Thursday, October 26, 2006
Chapter179: My heart collapsed...

There's this feeling...my heart had collapsed...doing something as a career... it's really very tough...this career i choosed...but i always believe i can make it...i believe,this is my best choice...i also thinks tt even a person with the strongest will, will felt tt his will is bending...of cos, this is a path tt certainly can be walked through...n in fact so many ppl had achieve honorable result...i also believe i can,n i can change it to even a greater stage...but now...
Remember,i choose my path during my ns life...n now everything is in a mess....i didn't achieve much...remember tt day,04072005....how i wish i should go right b4 tt time...i will nvr make this choice...i will nvr....i will nvr know these ppl...all these memories...i won't have for now...i seriously dun mind giving up these memories...realli...the onli one i wanna know is my gal...other than her,i'm willing to give up...n i really shouldn't know them....not becos i hate them...just becos i hate myself n making everyone sad for leaving their world...ppl,dun remember me animore...just leave me...
He will hate me,they will hate me...for giving up...i'm not...i'm just letting go...u ppl may think tt i'm no good,fucker...but u know,this is my future not urs...i'm the one should regret n feel pain,not u...u understand my pain?whether anot,fuck off...
So wat should i work as a career? dunno... u will c for urself...i dun need others...i just need hers...

11:18 AM
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Friday, October 20, 2006
Chapter178: I miss u...

Been happening lost of things to my life recently....like i'm sitting a pathetic ship n i'm on the sea where storm is happening none stop...er...i think this life...when will the sun shine...i think i choose to be on the ship...i choose to be alive in this life...
Gal...i'm not angry...i still miss u all...all of u...miss tt time...when i'm alone...the light shining on me,i dun mind being a clown tt time...cos we r happy...i promise, the time will come again...without flawes...
Dear,no matter how much u lie to me last time...even if u have something still lying to me i won't mind...i realli wanna know the truth, but nvm...u will tell me one day...i will trust u...maybe i'm the one tt is something wrong,not u...i love u...i wan u to be happy...if one day something realli happened,hope u can forgive urself,n for me,i already forgive u...love u...
Everyone...i choose my path...if u wanna help,pls help,if not, u can't stop me...cos the spell has cast in me...i will reach it with all my might...i will try more then my best,a__ bless me...i know u will...F______,i know u will always pray for me n others...i will not back off again...
LIFE,i mean the one tt wrote to me last time...i miss u too...i miss ur busy body-ness...i dun mind u giving me anymore advice...had been one year...since my 20th birthday...come back...i will post ur link on this blog...let others know how great u r,tt help me alot...
B___,wat happen?haha long time nvr talk to u...there's memories with u...onli a moment...no...onli tt moment i love the most...i maybe lying to myself tt time...i'm holding ur hand,looking to ur eyes...abit dunno wat to do...but i felt tt i'm in love with u...although now i already i have someone i realli love...but sure,i still miss u,n the moment...i will always miss u n wan u to be happy...if i'm not wrong,u already with someone tt will make u happy...i'm happy too...
Everyone...the one tt i realli missed deeply...hope tt i will suffer the storm for u...i realli dun mind when i know u guys r watching the rainbow tt is shining the whole sky...i miss all of u...

2:45 AM
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Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Chapter177: 2nd phase

Haiz...this week onwards i gonna work night shift liao...sian...after work can't go much place...b4 work wanna slp...super no life....haiz...no money...sian...night shift...should say the 2nd phase of training in scarlet...
Yesterday,finally know wat they actually wan from me...they wan me to be at the same standard as them...i felt tt i already learn alot...but still not enough ba...yesterday,jimmy, my lead cook scold me untill siao...got one thing,when i cook tt time i nvr taste,when i gan chong tt time i forget things...i can even forget wat's the portion size i'm cooking...last few days i cook 2 carrot with alot of salt...very salty...jimmy very angry...then yesterday i cook the garlic mash potato,no taste...then he say...2 times already...if let him catch the 3rd time i no need to stand at entremeteer post anymore...so scared...haiz...then he also say,i so many things dunno...y nvr go ask?if i go ask, nobody will scold me one...then i was thinking...maybe i'm realli no good in this part...i already at 2nd phase liao then still got so many fuck things i dunno...i need to ask...then i aga aga go list out wat i duno...wa alot man...dunno who can i ask realli...jimmy today off...leon wat shit also dunno...terence i also dunno how to ask him...he may not even answer me...KC ah,can try but he may not just tell me like tt...haiz...c xiao hong today there anot...haiz...so stress...

1:05 PM
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Saturday, October 14, 2006
Chapter176: I'm a dog...

Haiz...been working in scarlet almost coming to a month...late for less then 15 mins 2 times,more than 15 mins 2 times,mc once...took 3 offs over all...next week is the 4th week...haiz...hope i can improve more...
Onli 3 trainees there...jian rong from cold kitchen,first week 2 mc liao...cannot blame him la...he wanted to go front office de but no space then come scarlet...btw he from temasek...can't take too much stress...anyway, cold kitchen got wat stress....haiz...
Another,adrain,from raffles international training school...from raffles hotel...follow eric to scarlet to finish his attachment...quite pro...learn things very fast...but very the yaya...always talk to guys like he very good...then talk to gals like alot of gals like him...haiz...attitude...
So,ppl want me to be the best trainee i think...somemore from shatec...alot of ppl there from shatec...first hospitality school...shld be good...putting alot of stress on me...haiz...dunno how...i like tt issit becos i not enough slp?i dunno....always got problem one...forget this forget tt...hope i can be better...hope i can improve...haiz...everytime reach the main door i dun feel like going in...haiz...how?but i won't give up...tml going morning shift...next week all night shift...sure kanna fuck like a dog...

10:03 PM
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Chapter175: Desire

Haha wanted to write this blog long ago...but was too stress by the surroundding...sian ah...now doing my attachment at scarlet hotel...there hor,trainee like dog sia...haha still ok la...trainee need to do all the shit work in order to learn things...damn busy...but second day let me run service liao...quite good la...they as if take me as genius,show me one time expect me to know forever.....ah!!!so stress ah....
Desire...for guest to desire for food?or let the junior cook to learn wat they desire?i'm not a genius...but can i choose to be one?must be calm...if i choose,will i choose to be one?is this a chance?erm....dunno...i dun have choice i guess...i have to be one...in order to move on...cos it's too troublesome not to be one....

9:56 PM
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